Good morning. Here is your briefing. Let’s start with the news.
There’s more trouble for Aston Villa this week. Some of their own supporters have complained that Brad Guzan and Joleon Lescott told them to, “fuck off,” during that plucky 1-1 draw with Wycombe Wanderers on Saturday. It is alleged that while their team was being humiliated, Guzan and Lescott were sat in the dug-out giggling their way through a game of how-close-can-I-spit-my-gum-to-the-touchline. In fairness, that does sound more fun than watching Villa.
Jurgen Klopp has warned Pep Guardiola that English is, “football, football, football.” He’s right, you know. It never bloody stops.
Valencia still haven’t won in the league under Gary Neville. They lost again last night and the former Manchester United captain has asked the fans to be patient. They’re renowned for their patience at Valencia, so he should be fine.
Want a bite size round-up of the FA Cup action? You want this from Football 365, not least because Jurgen Klopp’s quotes about the loan system are very interesting and I’d missed them elsewhere.
ON YOUR TELLY THIS WEEK (Assuming that you live in the UK)
Congratulations on surviving your first week back at work. Sadly, the novelty of normality has worn off, all possible conversations about what you did over Christmas have been exhausted and there are still 76 days left until the Easter long weekend. But there is at least some football to watch.
Well, sort of. The best we can find you on Monday is the U21 ‘clash’ between Tottenham and Everton on Sky Sports 1 at 1915. If you’ve got MUTV, you could watch Reading vs Man Utd, but that’s not a viewing choice, that’s a cry for help.
It’s a little better on Tuesday when you can see what would have been a crucial match in the title race 20 years ago. It’s Newcastle, dumped out of the cup by Watford on Saturday, against Manchester United, who needed 70 minutes to put a shot on target against third flight Sheffield United. Things sure have changed here on Walton’s Mountain. If you don’t fancy that, how about Bordeaux vs Lorient in the French Coupe over on BT Sport Europe?
Liverpool’s young shavers face table-topping Arsenal at Anfield on Wednesday in what will be as much a test of the Gunners’ title credentials as it will of the home side’s hamstrings. You can watch that on BT Sport 1. But there’s French Coupe and Italian Coppa elsewhere, if you’d prefer? Run home from work early and you can catch Toulouse vs Marseille on BT Sport Europe at 1600 followed by PSG vs Lyon at 1945 on the same channel. Plucky Sky Sports 1 will go up against that lot with AC Milan vs Carpi.
What have we got on Thursday? We’ve got Millwall vs Oxford in the John Stone’s Painting Trophy Southern Section Semi Final First Leg Third Trimester Double Sandwich Mango Spatula. That’s waiting for you on Sky Sports 1.
You can watch Nice vs Angers on BT Sport 2 on Friday night, but surely you can do better than that? I mean, heavens, when did life get that depressing? And this isn’t to direct you to Brentford vs Burnley on Sky Sports 1 or even Dundee United vs Celtic on BT Sports 1. In their own way, they’re both just as bad. It’s Friday. You need to get out of the house. Just do anything. Literally anything that isn’t this. Have you tried rock climbing? Apparently it’s a good way to meet people, though I doubt it given that introductory small talk is probably of minimal importance when you’re five metres up, clinging to a plastic wall in your Adidas Sambas, rueing your decision to combine boxer shorts with football shorts and wondering if your new friends gathered below have noted the way your testicles have escaped their minimum security prison and are now hanging freely in what passes for a breeze in this sour smelling gymnasium.
Find all the TV listings at Live Football on TV
BOOK OF THE WEEK
The idea was that I’d read Euan McTear’s Eibar The Brave this week, something that’s been on my review pile, winking coquettishly at me for some time. But that If You Know Your History feature took AGES to write, not least because it kept tempting me with old biographies. I dipped into Brian Clough’s original autobiography for a quote and ended up re-reading half of it. And I’ve got something of a Forth Bridge thing going on with Terry Pratchett where I’ll work my way through the series and by the time I’ve finished, it’s time to start again. I keep buying them on my phone and reading them on the bus. It’s Mort at the moment, it will probably be Sourcery next. I will get to Eibar, I promise. It looks really good too.
FROM OUR VAULT
Picture: Shutterstock
We’re always delighted to have David Preece on the site, never more so than when he unleashes himself on a passing irritant. Back in June, he let fly on the practice of intimidating referees for calls that weren’t even marginal. “Dickishness of the highest order,” he said. You can read it all here.
BEST NON-FOOTBALL THING
Living in an age when you can download almost any book to whatever device is in the palm of your hand inside 20 seconds and being really cool about it, as if it’s not like living in Star Trek. As if it’s not the sort of transformative development that would have sparked revolutions in any other era. All of mankind’s accumulated knowledge is in your pocket. It’s in your fucking pocket. Edward Gibbon’s History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire? It’s free. Click. Boom. The Complete Works of Shakespeare? They lose a little something on the iPhone, but there they are. Click. Boom. Why don’t we acknowledge this more? Why are we not grabbing each other by the lapels every morning and laughing at the wonder of it all? Why am I still playing fucking Crossy Road every time I go for a poo?
If you’d like to recommend something for next Monday’s briefing, get in touch by emailing [email protected]
