Good morning. Here is your briefing. Let’s start with some good reads
It looked like the storm had passed, but alas, no. Chelsea are still rubbish. And the Powers That Be are beginning to freak out. They’ve been very patient so far, more patient than anyone could have expected. But getting done by Bournemouth in your own back yard…that’s going to change things. The Mirror says that he could be sacked regardless of what happens against Porto this week.
He’s not the only manager neck deep in the brown stuff. Garry Monk could be clearing his desk today to make way for one David Moyes. It would be an odd move, given Swansea’s habit of hiring expressive, enterprising managers, but perhaps the prospect of lashings and lashings of TV money has brought a certain pragmatism to the equation.
The Daily Telegraph says that Manchester United will begin their hunt for a new manager in the summer. It won’t be Pep Guardiola though because they don’t want him and they never did. Pah.
Graeme Souness has some views on the reasons for Newcastle’s decline. He cites the ‘impatience’ of the supporters. We love Graeme here, but we’ll just leave this here for him to read.
And finally, some nice stuff. The Carlisle United players, to a man, have volunteered their services to their flooded town, offering to do anything from clearing furniture to tidying up mess.
ON YOUR TELLY THIS WEEK (Assuming that you live in the UK)
We’re approaching the halfway stage of the football season already, which is absolutely terrifying given that it still feels to us like it’s late-September at the latest. The Champions League group stage comes to an end this week, and it’s actually been quite good this year. But before that, one more burst of Premier League football as Everton take on Crystal Palace tonight. The last time Alan Pardew’s side played on a Monday night, they managed to lose at home to Sunderland. Expect a little more focus this time. But let’s be honest, it’s not about the football. It’s about discovering who will replace Gary Neville and whether or not they can deliver those, “you talk about…” monologues with the requisite amount of authority. If you don’t fancy that then Espanyol vs Levante is on Sky Sports 4, you absolute pervert.
Louis van Gaal stands on a tightrope. If he beats Wolfsburg on Tuesday and beats Bournemouth on Saturday, then he’ll end the week in the last 16 of Europe and very much in the title race. If either test finds his side wanting, expect the frustration at Old Trafford to intensify. United can still qualify if they don’t win, so long as they do as well or better than PSV Eindhoven. You can also watch Manchester City against Bayern-conquering Borussia Monchengladbach, but we get the feeling that won’t be nearly as tense. It’s all on BT Sport.
London bottoms will squeak on Wednesday night too as Arsenal and Chelsea fight to make it out of their groups. Arsenal must go to Greece and beat Olympiakos by either two clear goals or any scoreline that involves them getting at least three. As for Chelsea, poor demoralised Chelsea, they just need to draw with Porto. That’s it. They just need to not lose. But fear not, worried Blues fans. If Dynamo Kiev fail to beat Maccabi Tel Aviv, you’ll qualify regardless of how badly you mess up at home. It’s all on BT Sport.
The Europa League group stage draws to a close on Thursday, with the 24 group qualifiers progressing to a round of 32 that’s hopelessly compromised by the introduction of eight minted Champions League teams too feckless to qualify from their own heavily seeded groups. You can watch Liverpool vs Sion (winner gets a seeding) or Spurs vs Monaco (a point for Spurs wins them a seeding) or Fenerbahce vs Celtic (Celtic are already out) and you can watch it on BT Sport.
You’ll be at a Christmas party on Friday, won’t you? Well, if you’re not, there’s plenty of football to console you. There’s Mainz vs Stuttgart on BT Sport 1. There’s Rennes vs Caen on BT Sport 2. There’s Getafe vs Not-David-Moyes’s Real Sociedad on Sky Sports 3. And if you want to keep it English, there’s Wolves vs Nottingham Forest on Sky Sports 1 as well. Who needs friends, eh? Sigh.
Full TV listings can be found over here on the Live Football on TV page.
BOOK OF THE WEEK
No contest this week. Not when a book as glorious as ‘The Heyday of the Football Annual’ comes out. If you’ve been struggling to think of a present for your dad or your grandad, your struggles end here. If you’re like me and you grew up surrounded by piles of your dad’s old annuals, then this is a glorious burst of nostalgia. And, let’s be honest, even if you’re of a post-Hornby generation, this is well worth a look as well. It’s a beautifully put together book, a loving tribute to the old publications of the post-war era, a poignant reminder of a time when footballers were just blokes who lived in semi-detached suburban houses. It would be very easy to produce a book like this and make it snide or sarcastic, scoring points with barbs at the innocence and smallness of it all. But there’s only affection and respect here from authors Ian Preece and Doug Cheeseman. Look out too for contributions from Jonathan Wilson, Patrick Collins and Richard Williams.
PS: For other Dad presents, look out for Chris Windle’s ‘Why Men Skim Stones‘, though given that my wife flicked through it and said, “Yeah, you do that. And that. And that. I don’t know why I married you actually. Yeah, you do that too. I think about other people when we make love. And that. Oh God, I wish you didn’t do that,” it might be better for your mum.
FROM OUR VAULT
Picture: Bob Thomas/Getty
After another difficult weekend for Manchester United, it seems only right to wheel out this fine feature from Andy Mitten. Remembered (in footballing terms at least) for over a quarter of a century as Sir Alex Ferguson’s hapless predecessor, is Ron Atkinson actually the club’s second best manager since Sir Matt Busby? This feature was memorable, not simply for being an excellent read, but also for bringing the first ever furious complaint of lazy journalism in the history of The Set Pieces. In this instance, sadly, it was the reader who was guilty of laziness, failing to read the word ‘second’ in the title…
BEST NON-FOOTBALL THING
An oldie, but a goodie. Explore the true scale of the universe, scroll down for dust mites, atomic matter and quantum foam, scroll up for dinosaurs, small moons (that’s no moon) and galaxies. Find out about stuff like the Hubble Deep Field which will absolutely blow your mind. It’s a tiny patch of empty sky. But it’s not empty! It’s not even nearly empty. Wallow in wonder for as long as you like…then try to get some work done. You can’t do work now. Work is meaningless now.
If you’d like to recommend something for next Monday’s briefing, get in touch by emailing [email protected]
