You will not find any news here because, frankly, the newspapers do it far better. Those searching for conjecture, speculation, gossip, heatmaps and articles entitled “39 players that Jurgen Klopp might buy in the next transfer window,” will also leave empty handed. We don’t want 40,000 hits in a morning because we published a deliberately provocative and entirely unfair assault on your football team.
So what do we do? What will we offer you in this crowded marketplace? Well, we’ll get people who are good at stuff to do stuff that they’re good at. If you’re reading an opinion column here, it’s because the person with the opinion knows stuff. If you’re reading a feature, it’s because the writer has something to tell you. We have briefings, we have correspondents, we have interviews and we have weirdly popular long-running features based on computer games.
There’s no filler, no fluff and there are certainly no hot takes. We pay all of our writers and we’ll never tell anyone to write for free because it will, “boost their profile.”
Perhaps the greatest accolade a site of this kind can hope to land is the knowledge that someone, somewhere just got into trouble with their boss because they spent too long on the toilet reading something on their smartphone. It is to this glory that we aspire.
Infrequently asked questions
We thought long and hard about this and we decided that comment boxes are horrible and that we didn’t want them anywhere near the site. You know how it is. You start out with the best of intentions and before you know it you’re hosting pages and pages of bile and fury from people who really need to switch off their laptops, go for a walk and realise that life can be very beautiful if you’re not always livid about everything.
Besides which, do local newspapers feel obliged to print every letter they receive? No, of course they don’t. They carefully filter out the ones written in green crayon, choose the best ones and produce a letters page of variety and quality.
That’s what we’ll do. What we’ll also hope to do is use our letters page to further the story. If you’ve written about the subject then let us know and maybe we’ll link you up. We like you. You’re nice. It’s the others that scare us.
So while new feature ideas will always be considered, it is likely that most will be rejected on grounds of space, budget, quality or the simple fact that if anyone sends me an email entitled ‘What is Wayne Rooney’s Best Position?’ so help me we will start lashing out at police horses.
If you want to improve your chances of acceptance, have another read of our aims. We want interviews, we want first hand content, we want authority. We want to know that the writer is one of the best people available to write what they’re writing. We will not publish your article on Galatasaray simply because you did well with them on Football Manager.
In short, if you can write the feature without leaving your bedroom, then we probably won’t want it. This rule doesn’t apply for book reviews, we’re quite happy for writers to review books wherever they feel comfortable, but we’re tripping over book reviewers at the moment and we don’t need any more.
Email all suggestions to email@example.com
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