Editor’s Note And Letters: 12/05/15

Are you pretty nifty with a biro? Why not use it to draw us a picture? We’ve got three t-shirts from the lovely people at Art of Football and we’re going to give them away. All you have to do is to scribble a picture of your unlikely football hero onto a scrap of paper, take a picture and send it into us. All the details you need are here. 

And we’ve still got a few gaps left in our Football Manager Cup. Next month, 128 people will do battle in cyberspace for the right to lift one of the most beautiful trophies every forged. What’s stopping you from joining in? Laziness? Cowardice? Come on, you’ve spent half your life playing this game. Isn’t it about time you proved that you’ve learned something? Get over here and sign up right now. 

Iain Macintosh

 

BURNLEY FAN LEFT UNCONVINCED BY BURNLEY

Appreciated the thoughtful piece on Burnley’s progress as a club, but there is a lot of frustration among fans about what is perceived to have been a wasted opportunity.

The club struggled to bring in their main targets last summer and the transfer strategy badly failed. The fact one player left and nobody arrived in January when we were so desperately short of cover in key areas speaks a lot about Burnley’s preparedness, or lack of it, off the pitch. Neither of the two strikers we signed has scored a single league goal – that’s a damning fact.

A lot of the time it has felt like the club simply does not know how to act like a Premier League club, even after two seasons in the top flight in the last few years. We’re still playing at it, enjoying the ride, taking in the sights, loving the prawn sandwiches, forgetting that the aim is surely to become established at that level rather than make up the numbers for a year.
Yes, it’s true that important progress is (at long last) being made with the club’s infrastructure but Burnley were not that far away on the pitch this season and a bit more investment in the right players, with more decisiveness shown from the recruitment and negotiation team, might have made all the difference.
I’m fairly confident about our chances of coming back up next year – depending on which players can be retained and if Sean Dyche is still around – but looking at the dross that makes up the bottom third of the Premier League I can’t help but think we could and should have been better than at least three other teams with more of a push.
After the last time we were relegated from the Premier League one of the club’s directors, Brendan Flood, confessed that he felt we had been too “cautious”. I fear we have made the same mistake again.
NEWCASTLE FAN PROVIDES EPIC POEM
In deciding to comment
On the reign of Mike Ashley
I’m seriously unable
To rant and write rashly
Though when I consider
The state of our nation
I confess that this
Is my first inclination.
I know we’ve been duped
I’m aware we’ve been had
But not everything
Ashley’s done has been bad…
Some say he’s a bandit
All pillage and looting
But the club stands sound
On a financial footing
For the sake of balance
And being fair
I say the former’s been elusive
Like the silverware
I’m struggling now…
Without more evidence
That’s the sum total of
Benign influence
Like when it all started
Some drinks with the lads
Bonhomie and marvellous
Everyone said
But my grandparents told me
Of this politician
Who came north to steal votes
A Tory magician
He wore a flat cap
To talk to the nation
But got run out of town
For patronisation
I must say that Michael
Reminds me of that
Not a man of the people
More…. fiscal twat
If this slanders or slurs
Then I beg my pardon
But only cash…
Seems to give him a hard on
(Sorry, one other
May make him erect
An appendage or stadium
Labelled ‘Sports Direct’)
A genius we’re told
Of sportswear and fashion
You’re an amalgam of deserts
When it comes to passion
Our pride in our side
Completely diminished
We feed on the scraps
While your wallet’s replenished
He deserves a desperate grisly (fate)
Without mercy or reprieve
Like the ones we’d reserve
For certain referees
(Say the one who disallowed
TIOTE V CITY!
I’d pop rivet the bastard
To a plank without pity)
A financial wiz,
Pecuniary genius
His atrocities range
From the crass to the heinous
Cheap labour in sweat shops
From poor folk in Thailand
Morally dubious?
His cash takes the high ground
Has he no idea
How much it hurts
Little kids with ‘WONGA’
Scribbled over their shirts?
He’s stuffed fat with billions
A venal eclipse
Where football’s concerned
You wouldn’t send him for chips
It’s not new for Geordies
To be held in contempt
For loving their club
An ‘immune sacrament’
To let downs and failure
And finishing second
For sixty long years
To the gods we have beckoned
BUT….We’ve danced in the streets
Cried on the telly
Had top entertainers
Turn legs into jelly
Made our own hay from football
Had fun, and enjoyed it….
Along you come with your cash
And destroy it
So fuck it if the cabinet’s empty
Millions still pour through the gate
But how long if our only ambition
Is money…and heaven can wait?
Scared stiff of Shearer
Dismissive of Keegan
Contemptuous of all
The folk and the region
Who say
“Hey Mr Ashley…we’ve all got your handle
You’re a spiritless void
A cultural vandal.”
Peter Sanderson
Splendid! Have you got a poem you’d like to share with us? Or an opinion? Or a stream of abuse that you’ve been desperately trying to force into a comments box that doesn’t exist? Write to us: [email protected]
Editor’s Note And Letters: 12/05/15
4.4 (88.33%) 12 votes

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